i want to reward you with 5 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact

It's been raining without end for days, and the weather forecast is taunting me. Every day, no matter how many rainy and windy days I survive, the sunny days are always still two days away. The cat is whining and yowling to be let outside, but of course every time I open the door for […]

the writing on the wall, that nobody was there at all

I am growing less and less, by the day. Last weekend, in between a quest to find the world's best jam (victorious, despite wily misdirection from the internet and two-faced cafes) and wandering about cemeteries, I had to go, of all the most horrendous things, shopping. For bras, no less, that most heinous of all […]

why yes. i do anthropomorphise everything.

Yesterday, I jaunted along to the GP, who stabbed a few viscous, neon pink mL of rabies into my arm, told me I may possibly be the only person in the known world to have laughter-induced asthma,1 and then told me to hold still, this burning a section of my face malarky would only sting […]