stop living so fast already

Question of the Week: But don't you want to get married? have kids? settle down?1

Yes, that's right, settle down. Because it's just party central over here in Debville. I don't know what gave it away. Perhaps it was the fact that, when a work colleague asks about my weekend, my answer is inevitably, "Oh, I met up with some mates at the State Library. We have this thing, where we get together every Saturday and sit in a room where we're not allowed to talk to each other, and we don't let ourselves leave that room until we've written something. It was great!"2

Or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that, shockingly, I am not desperate to put an end to my single status, despite having turned 30 some years ago. Clearly, internet, I am a brazen hussy and I need to just STOP IT NOW. Because the overpopulated world is depending on my uterus. I mean, we won't be able to eat the planet dry of all its resources unless I breed, and now, dagnabbit.

If you'll excuse me, there's some youth I need to go out and corrupt.

  1. Posed to me, not by my mother, who is far too cool for such outdated attitudes, nor by anyone born in the decades preceding the first world war, but by a lad in his twenties. []
  2. This weekend gone we really shook up the plan by going to see a movie afterwards. Because nothing is better than sitting in a brightly-lit room where you're not allowed to talk, except perhaps following it up by sitting in a darkened room where you're not allowed to talk. That's just how we extreme partygoers roll. []

16 thoughts on “stop living so fast already

  1. You crushed the poor guy's closely held dream of one day settling down and having kids with you!

    1. @Ben: back? oh dear. you mean i'm supposed to have started already? i seriously fail at this.

      @jan: Ha!

      Well, it's better that he be disillusioned now. I would make a terrible wife. Tessa told me so today, no less, when she told me she would never marry me.

          1. Which is exactly the sort of thing one deserves for allowing Truman Capote to put anything in one's mouth, especially lines.

  2. I'd marry you, debs, if only you'd lower yourself to my level… sigh. We'd get cheap sperm for the baby thing, too!

          1. to be fair to poor tessa, technically, since i wanted to be the husband, i shoulda actually bought her a ring and put some effort into sweeping her off her feet instead of proposing via email

  3. Dinner, yes. Lunches…maybe (I'll make you a sammich). I procrastinate with my sewing, so I'm not sure how I'll go with yours, but I'll damn well try πŸ™‚

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