in the interests of entertaining you all

Last night, I got lost in a corridor.

Before you assume I'm joking, or exaggerating, let me assure you that your faith in me, at least in this instance, is utterly undeserved. Not only was it a corridor, it was a section of corridor small enough to be referred to as a closet.

It was not a particularly tricky corridor. There were quite a few turns involved, but no real options involved in said turns (except for that open door halfway along the corridor I thought might be my destination, namely the toilets, but in fact was the kitchen. Luckily I self-corrected quickly. That one was easy.).

By the time I actually found the real door to the toilets, I was dazed and confused by all the turns,1 so that when I pushed open the door and found myself confronted by a blank wall not even one foot2 from my face … I got lost.

The solution was blindingly obvious: I should have turned right, at which point I would have found the next door, and wiktory. Instead, I stared at the blank wall directly in front of me, searching for a door handle, wondering if the door was perhaps the sliding type.

And when I couldn't find anything on what was clearly a wall, not a door, what did I do? That's right: I turned to the left. And found another blank wall. At which point, increasingly bemused by my inability to FIND MY WAY IN A TWO-FOOT BY ONE-FOOT SECTION OF CORRIDOR, I seriously contemplated turning back. Luckily, the section of corridor was so small that in order to turn back, I was quite literally forced to turn right and what do you know? There's the door I need. In pale colours, which should have been quite bright and obvious in contrast to the dark plain walls. With a handle with PULL written above it.3

Note to self: you fail.

  1. not to mention the dessert I had just consumed, which shall henceforth be known as the diabetic coma on a spoon — seriously, I have a high tolerance for sugar, and I have never eaten so much sugar in a single bite before []
  2. sadly, I am not exaggerating even mildly. One foot. []
  3. Oh yes, I pushed. In my defence, even after I got back to the dinner table and regaled everyone with the story (which is even better when told in person, because then you get the extra-special bonus features of my re-enactment, complete with hand gestures and confused expressions), and they all had to go see the corridor which had nearly defeated me, they all pushed instead of pulled as well. []

7 thoughts on “in the interests of entertaining you all

  1. Next Up: Our intrepid author, armed only with her hands and a flashlight, will attempt to find her…


    (Gregory is hoping that said saying is not just an American thing. I don't think it is. But what do I know?)

  2. (Grr, accidentally zotted my previous reply)
    Gregory, it's not just an American saying ;}

    Deb, can we say the sugar-induced coma brought on the directional fail? Which restaraunt did you go to? Can I gather the family visit is going well?

    1. @Ben: Adorable! Thankyou! I would have chosen something like utterly ridiculous, or something derogatory, but adorable I like. Yes. I shall be adorable.

      @Gregory: Ha! Tonight I found the alcohol, and drank, and now I can find nothing else… πŸ˜‰

      @Melinda: I'm not entirely sure – it was on Southbank, near the Elizabeth St footbridge (if that helps at all). Pricey, and not called Seagrass. (The family visit is going exceedingly well. I haven't laughed this much in AGES.)

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