Focus. I lacks it.
Walked out of the house this morning with the nagging feeling something was wrong. Odd. Misplaced. It wasn't until I got to the top of the driveway that I figured out what it was: the letterbox was missing. Uprooted and vanished in the night. I stood there bemused for some time, staring at the ground where it used to be, utterly failing to see where it now was or even the hole where it used to stand, wondering if perhaps I'd been insane and only ever imagined a letterbox standing there.
In the end I found it across the road, thoroughly dismembered, but neatly stacked. I suspect the people who did the stacking were not the people who did the dismembering, but who can say. It's a strange world.
In other news, one of my colleagues at work keeps a list by her computer of malapropisms1. Who doesn't love malapropisms? I used to know a girl who always used the phrase "to all intensive purposes", which always made me laugh. My colleague's list has a couple of other pearlers, including "oddviously" (what the…?!) and "taxi ranch"
I'm quite fond of the idea of a taxi ranch. I can't help but picture acres and acres of brown plains grass, with happy taxis gambolling about in the fields… herded by ride-on mowers…
- which she's labelled malappropriatisms [↩]