not to be melodramatic or anything

Way back when I first ventured beyond Australian shores, I joined a frequent flyer program — because Australia, my friends, is a long way away from, well, anywhere. And the cost of flying out of Australia basically earns you enough frequent flyer points to fly out of Australia. (Or it did back then. These days your average frequent flyer point earns you diddly-squat of frig-all of a sparrow's fart, which is to say, nothing at all.)

My mistake was joining the frequent flyer program that included Ansett. It was a rational and reasonable move: the flights I'd booked were all going to earn Ansett points, not QANTAS points. So I joined Ansett's program, and I flew out of the country (on the day the Aussie dollar hit US$0.49), and I jaunted around Europe, mostly the central to eastern bits because they were the affordable ones given the Aussie dollar's ludicrous economic performance. And when I got home, I had earned enough points to pay for my next lot of flights out of Australia.

Except Ansett had hit financial difficulties, and summarily scrapped the award points. (It didn't help: the airline folded and vanished soon after, never to be heard from or of again.)

C'est la vie. It's not like I lost anything of concrete value, right?

Only, last month, I changed my credit card to one that earned me QANTAS frequent flyer points.

And this month? QANTAS planes are DROPPING OUT OF THE SKY.

Now, I'll grant you that this is not a particularly rigorous scientific study, and that a sample number of two is not statistically significant, but I think the truth is obvious to all right-minded individuals. Oh yes, people: I kill airlines.

6 thoughts on “not to be melodramatic or anything

  1. Frankly, I can't help but think that, as far as weird abilities go, that one is pretty cool. It's a bit Marxist, really. You're a Marxist superhero, taking down The Man. As long as The Man owns an airline.

  2. H'm. I hadn't realised it was a superpower.

    Now I'm going to have to actually figure out how to use it for good and/or evil and pick a side!

  3. Excellent advice, because, you see, I've been practising my evil laugh. I figure there's a lucrative career in corporate blackmail to be had with this superpower: they can pay me never to join their programs. Brilliant. And tax deductable (er… haven't figured that part out yet. Superpowers that involve x-ray vision etc probably involve less banality, but you gotta work with what you got!)

  4. That will only leave us with Virgin and Jetstar (does anyone fly Tiger, seriously?), and I happen to be partial to Virgin, so keep them till last, please?

  5. Funnily enough, a fair few people up this way fly Tiger. I guess when you only get one flight per day per airline, you learn not to be too picky 😉

    And the bad news is that I think I'm already a member of the Virgin program. Strangely, nothing bad has happened there. Probably because I haven't reached the points threshold. I think bad things only start to happen once I've accrued enough points to actually fly somewhere.

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