Back when I wrote my very first synopsis, I hated it. Loathed it. Squirmed on the chair and cleaned my desk and kicked my feet so the pain would distract me. You get the picture, I'm sure.

Now I've discovered a task I dislike even more, if that's possible. Writing your own bio. Honestly, coming up with a paragraph about me? Makes me think I'd prefer to sit down and write a synopsis. For a million-word novel. That has no plotline. And has already been finished, so I feel compelled to stay "true" to the novel.

Can you contract these things out?

In less egotistical news, much as I love WinZip, that nag screen is driving me to utter distraction. Anyone know of any good freeware zip programs?

13 thoughts on “biobleh

  1. I can fill a bio of 100-200 words with titles of stuff I've had published, and/or weird jobs I've had, places I've been, and that sort of thing (that said, having written them, I tend to re-use them whenever asked for a bio until it becomes necessary to change details). Anything longer is difficult, and I usually find myself lying profusely.

  2. See, this is my problem! I'm a little light on the published stuff, and I've never had any weird jobs. I've worked with weird people, I suppose, but that won't work for a bio. If I could lie, profusely or otherwise, I would 😉

  3. Ooo ooo ooo! I'll write it! I'll write it!

    We have a special running on our very popular Mata Hari: International Woman of Mystery (TM) bio template. Other popular bio templates include Anarchist Freedom Fighter (TM), Cynical Ex-patriot Piano Player at Seedy Tropical Bar (TM), Poetry-quoting Italian Football Hooligan(TM), and, Walmart Stocker: Nighttime Edition(TM).

    Order now!

  4. oh lordy, the choices, the choices…! can i customise a template? i'd like cynical ex-international woman of mystery now playing piano at seedy bar please!

  5. Hmmm. We don't do customizations, but oddly enough we have something close — Cynical Ex-International Woman of Mystery Playing Kazoo at Slightly Dodgy Coffeehouse(TM) .

  6. Hi quiescere, welcome to the blog. (You look at plugins but have a livejournal?) And thanks for the heads-up on 7-zip. I've actually been poking around through it these past couple of days.

  7. I'm migrating away from livejournal. The blogs I find most edifying tend to be on blogger or self-published via such packages as WordPress. Livejournal posts tend to be more banal, and myspace is just too painful to view. Even the few bloggers I read avidly before they moved to livejournal have gradually declined in quality. There seems to be an inverse correlation between how strongly a blogging package encourages social interaction and the quality of writing and thought published via that package. That sounds horribly elitist, and if followed to its logical conclusion would lead to writing strictly on paper, locking it in a safe, and never discussing it with anyone. Still, I cannot shake the feeling that I've run afoul of Marshall McLuhan and the software I choose to use matters.

  8. A very interesting point! I do like and sometimes miss the sense of community that livejournal offers (it's just not the same having your feed ported in), but nowhere near enough to move my blog away from my own site. Besides, I like being able to control what my blog looks like, and I mean really control. I do use the LiveJournal friends page for aggregation, though.

    I can highly recommend WordPress. And if you're looking for plugins, you can find a list of the plugins which I use for this install. Good luck!

  9. Just do what Harlan Ellison did for a long time: make shit up 🙂 I have a collection of some 40-odd Ellison bios, all completely different and in many cases, hilarious. I did it myself, for a while, until I got slack and lazy. Even so, every know and then I throw a new one into the mix just for laughs.

    "Deborah McDonnell was the first New Zealander to never have visited or been born in that country. A PhD in Avon Products, she toured the world with the Grateful Dead for thirteen years, before settling down to raise sea horses in Alice Springs. She has published six novels using the common-law pseudonym Stephen King, and currently operates a successful dried seahorse souvenir stand."

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