I've been down on myself lately, disappointed with my (lack of) progress with the novel revisions. Sure, I've been indulging in bad habits of procrastinating and excuse-making, to some degree. But I have also been working, and diligently. Just not as fast as I hoped or wanted. Most of my disappointment stems from that worst of all habits: unrealistic expectations.
For some reason, I keep expecting this to be a simple revision. (Ha! Is a revision ever simple?) But I wrote this novel pre-Clarion, and even by my standards at the time it was rough as guts, because I was hurrying to finish before the boot-camp. By my standards now, it's not even as good as "rough as guts". There's no viable structure in place to hold it together, there's subplots missing and threads dangling, there's great chunks missing with only a snippet to myself in the margin as to what I intended. What I'm doing is not a revision, it's essentially a rewrite from scratch. Of course that's going to take longer, and turning my frustration into an emotional whipping-rod is really not going to help with the speed issue.
Bad writer. No biscuit for me.
So, a new mantra. It's okay for this to take a little longer than I expected. It's okay to leave mauled manuscript pages with a slew of confusing and often contradictory notes in my wake. (Really.) This is a novel I like, it's worth spending the time to make it good.