i am this close to declaring to-do-list bankruptcy

Since the old routine was proving difficult to groove back into, post-Mongolia, I've been trying out a new routine. It's not quite working yet.

Previously I'd been landing early at the dayjob, and writing after I clocked off. This has the benefit of my morning tram not being a peak hour one, and the library, where I'm sure not to be interrupted, is open for my writing session. But the library is in the wrong direction, away from home, and errands tend to be scheduled in my writing time. All of which means it tends to vanish before I get to it.

So I've taken to writing before I clock on. It means I get to keep my non-peak-hour tram, I get to work more "normal" hours, and I get at least one hour's writing time that won't be eaten by errands. Sadly, libraries are not early-risers, so while my writing time isn't being eaten by errands, it's not sans interruptions. Decidedly not.

I've been thinking, this weekend, about what I can do to fix that.

There are a couple of external options — writing in a cafe, for example — but maybe what I really need to change is my mind-set.

Writing used to be easier and swifter than I find it now. Partly that's because I'm more conscious of the craft, and trying to exercise finer control over it; a slower pace is a natural consequence. But maybe it's also partly because I have a habit of pushing myself too hard.

Because pretty much all this year I've been caught in a vicious cycle. I'm tired, from working long hours, which means I don't hit even the modest wordcount I'm aiming for, so I push myself harder the next day and work all weekend to catch up, which means I'm tired from working long hours with no break, so I don't hit even the modest wordcount I'm aiming for…

From now on I'll be taking at minimum one day off a week — and that day is going to be a weekend, so it's a proper rest from all forms of work.

And in the meantime I'm going to practise being more in the now,1 so that when I am interrupted it doesn't take me 20 minutes to get back into my train of thought. Or so that when I'm writing, my mind is working — not on how many words I've written or revised (and oh no I only have 20 minutes left before I have to clock on) — but instead on how I'm going to fix this next sentence, this next paragraph, this next scene.

  1. Oh, and also, I am going to get to all those emails and phonecalls currently waiting on me to return them. Just, yanno, when I can. []

we are ugly, but we have the music

I think my cup of tea is giving me hayfever. Can you develop a sudden and inexplicable allergy to tea? Oh farkit, if I'm now allergic to tea that's it, it's all over.

Go on without me! I'm done for! Save yourselves!

Ahem.

I have been meaning to post for a couple of days now, but I've also been trying to get my days' words before posting. This hasn't been going all that well, of late. I don't know what's up with the book (or my brain, or some no man's land where the two are attempting to meet), but it's like pulling teeth. Deep-rooted teeth. Bones of the world type teeth.

So today I come bearing writerly links. Given that it's NaNoWriMo, the internet is full of them! The theme appears to be outlining, the reason for which will doubtless become clear if it's not already.

Justine talks about the book in her head vs the book she wrote, which post came as a bit of an epiphany for me.

When I first started trying to write novels that process really bothered me. It drove me nuts that I couldn’t capture what I’d been imagining on the page. I thought it meant I was a terrible writer. But now I know it’s just part of the process and I enjoy it.

I've been obsessed with outlining and planning in advance, lately — a mindset into which I routinely sink any time the current alpha draft hits a snag and I can't figure out what's hobbling me. If only I had planned it out first! If only I were more efficient as a writer! Next novel, I'm definitely doing an outline! If only this, if only that. I need to remember that outliners face inefficiencies too (different ones, obviously) and comparing the two when I only really have experience of the one is foolish at best. Give me however long it takes me to push through this current phase of the blahs, and I'll start another novel without an outline.1 I'm incurable like that.

Glenda Larke explains how she writes a novel:

People ask me how many revisions I do – honestly, I dunno. Some parts that don't work well have too many rewrites to count. Other scenes hardly change at all from the moment I wrote them. One thing I can tell you – for me, writing is not easy. Nor quick. And everybody is different.

I like this post, because it's very similar to my process — and there's nothing I like more, particularly when I'm not happy with the way I'm working, than to hear that my process is not singular. Although I don't, as a rule, go back and read what I've written — because if I do that, I invariably get caught up in revising.

Diana Peterfreund talks about the four-act structure:

I am a fan of the four act structure. I think envisioning your story like that is one of the easiest ways to avoid the “sagging middle.” Even if you do it naturally, going back and making sure that this is what you have done can often help you avoid later complications from bad planning. (I’m a big planner, by the way. BIG.)

And another link from Diana, which I discovered when I stumbled across her post on the four-act structure: plot boards.

That last link is actually to a category page, rather than a single post, but there's a wealth of material in there. The idea of the plot board appeals to me: it's outlining, but it's outlining AFTER the alpha draft, which is about the only time I can do any detailed outlining. Plus, all those post-it notes and bright colours speak right to my stationery-loving, obsessive-compulsive soul. This is one of the reasons I wanted Scrivener, back when I didn't have a Mac, because the corkboard feature lends itself beautifully to this. The faerie novel isn't up to a full plot board yet, obviously, but I'm trying to be virtuous and fill out those little plot cards as I go. It's going to make starting those revisions so much easier!

And, if you have any links on outlining you think might help me in my efforts to procrastinate from the darn faerie novel ;) share away!

  1. Although I do have a nebulous idea of what the story will involve in my head before I start, and I usually develop a nebulous approximation of an outline during the writing of the alpha draft. []

mad concentration skills, i — ooh! shiny!

For the past couple of days, prompted by the fact that Glenda Larke is racing to write 30,000 words in 15 days, and finding it inspiring, I've been pondering all the ways we trick ourselves into writing, and staying focussed thereon.

And I've come to the conclusion that lately, my bag o'tricks is empty and my focus is shot entirely to hell.

So, tell me: how do you keep at it? What lies do you tell yourself, what rewards do you promise yourself?

today i sat in a beanbag for 8 hours (it was the best day evah)

Today, determined to finish the first pass of edits on "Shaping Lily", I decided to track my progress throughout the day. In the interests of accountability, you understand.

Read on at your own peril. You have been warned.

9:17: Realise I've been dicking around on the internet far too long already, mostly reading through 6 insane discoveries science can't explain (yet).1 This is not a promising start to my revisions. Quickly check my to-do list, and remember in a panic all those bloody things I promised myself I'd do today. Realise edits on Lily is therefore not the first thing I have to do today. Decide edits on Lily are the first thing I'm going to do today anyway.

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  1. I knew about the antikythera mechanism, but didn't know about the others. Really like the pipes. And the bloop Cthulhu. []

hour upon hour of motivation fail

Today I mailed in my electoral enrolment details, officially changing my address to the state of Victoria. On Thursday I have an appointment to transfer my licence from a NSW one to a Victorian one, and to transfer the car's registration likewise. This is it, people: after Thursday it's official. This is no longer just some kind of cheap version of an international working holiday visa.

I had a visit from my family over the weekend, which resulted in the greatest steady consumption of alcohol I have enjoyed since arriving in Melbourne. (My family: we drink to survive each other's company.) Clearly I'm going to have to step up my game when it comes to socialising down here. Do you know, I still don't know the location of (m)any watering holes? That's an appalling lapse of judgement.

The new plan for the writing routine, namely dropping into the library after work, has hit the week-two snag. It's always week two that trips me up. (Sometimes week two is actually week three. As in this case. But I'm sure my point stands, provided you define week two as "the novelty has worn off, but the habit hasn't quite worn in". Which, I'll grant you, is very different to the standard "the second week" definition normally applied to week two. Yeah, my head. I don't make the rules, I just live inside it as best I can.) This week I have hit the I-don't-wanna's, and it's a bit of a slog to convince myself on leaving the dayjob that I really do want to walk to the library and sit down and start working on something else instead of going home and sitting in front of the tv and doing nothing. Meh. Here's hoping the habit wears in quickly.

Still, I got my words and change today, in time to go and see an evening session of Wolverine, which … yeah. About that.

time for a new plan

Today, I admitted defeat. I've been getting up at 5 a.m. to get an hour's writing in before the dayjob takes over. It's been working okay (when I'm disciplined enough not to check my email, that is), but it's been chilly enough that I've been working from bed to keep warm. This morning, however,1 it was too cold to even THINK about sitting up at 5 a.m. For that matter, it was actually too cold to move. I tested the air with a single ear, but quickly tucked my head back under the blankets when I instantly lost all sensation in said exposed ear. Consequently, there was no writing this morning.

So, time for a new plan.

Buggered if I know what it will be, though.

In the meantime, my crazy-talented brother (one of my crazy-talented brothers, to be more precise) has written a game for the iphone: it's called AAA Gun Club.

My mother tells me she's been using it to tease amuse the cats: they look for the spent cartridges which they can hear falling to the floor. Hours of fun for the whole family! (Don't let my irreverance fool you. When I googled last night it was ranking among the top downloads of iTunes UK store. I'm just not entirely sure what to tell you because I don't have an iPhone. But I'm not bitter about that, not in the least, oh no, why do you ask?)

  1. coldest night in April in 52 years, I'm told — I haven't googled to check []

loss of dignity

Jane Espenson writes about removing dignity as a writing tactic:

Loss of dignity is hilarious.

…But the fact that something dignified is made laughable… well, we all know that that can be tragic, too. The kind of humor I've been talking about is just a few degrees skewed from poignancy, a point well understood by anyone who's ever had the misfortune to get very angry while wearing a chipmunk costume.

ten ways to beat procrastination

I have finely honed procrastination skills, and they're pretty much always at the fore. Tricking myself out of procrastinating is an endless process which constantly requires new weapons in the arsenal. Any time one tactic stops working, it's time to bring in a different big gun. Off the top of my head, here's ten of them1:

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  1. And by all references to "you" in the list I, naturally, mean "me" ;) []

the daily grind

I've been pondering a lot lately about finding the right pace.

I know writers who can churn out 3,000 words in an hour. I know other writers who take hours to produce that much — and yet they'll still have that, or a similarly high figure, as their daily target. I'm presuming that's partly a function of available time, and yet I do know writers quite capable of burning the candle at both ends, working long hours at the dayjob and putting in equally long hours at the writing in any one day. This I find awesome. My own body rebels if ever I try that, and I find myself sleeping at the desk. It probably doesn't help that coffee makes me sick; there's not that many caffeine-free stimulants, you know?

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today i wrote yesterday's words. only different.

So it looks like the possum is not sick or injured. She's just decided the corner is a neato place and thanks very much. She seems to wander away for food and whatnot during the night and just wants to spend the days sleeping there. H'm. Better there than trying to get into the roofspace, I suppose.

In inane slightly boggling news, yesterday I met a Parisian who informed me, with all the dignity that only a French accent can bestow, that he would call me Deborah rather than Deb. I didn't quite follow the reasoning, although it had something to do Australians being lazy with names and therefore you should never give them an already-shortened version of your name because then they'll shorten it again. But seriously? How're you going to shorten Deb? I suppose you could get all minimalistic on me and shorten it to D.

In other news, the short story? Well, let's not talk about the short story. Last night I tried to use a nifty little program called Dark Room, to help shut out the internets and help me concentrate. And all went well, until I came to the end. I copied the text from the Dark Room program, pasted it into the manuscript. Deleted it from Dark Room. Put it in order in the manuscript. Then pressed close.

And when the little alert flashed up asking Do you want to save the changes?

I clicked No.

Lost! Losst! The precious, my precious!

Ah well. They were probably crap words anyway. Let's hope so, eh? Because they ain't coming back.