totally the big issues here, people

 asides, journal  4 Responses »
Aug 162010
 

I have a love-hate relationship with chewing gum.

One of the guys at work always has these strange brands of gum, with highbrow flavours. He particularly favours minty orange, which I'll grant you is surprising at first, but delicious. And every now and then I steal some off him because, well, for example, lunch needs to be fought back against.

And every single time — every. single. time. — I arrive at the point where the delicious flavour has all but faded, and then past that point to where even the random interrmittent bursts of flavour are a thing of the past.

This is the point where you realise you are, indeed, chewing … GUM.

And you can't even get all righteously indignant and/or disappointed over it. Because it's in the name.

These chewing gum manufacturers and their nefarious honesty. It's diabolical.

what do you mean this isn't a photoblog?

 asides, journal  5 Responses »
Jul 182010
 

now THIS is how you drive an ambulance: backwards. in a crocheted cardigan and corduroy pants. watch and learn, my friends, watch and learn.

Also, does it alarm anyone else that the ambulance looks more like a hearse with a red cross hastily pasted on? Like some kind of horror-story-esque vehicle that vivisects its patients en route to the "hospital"?

Well, that, or the Ghostbusters car.

one day i might even not feel mildly guilty about it

 asides, journal  2 Responses »
May 122010
 

Today's blog post was going to be about finally wrangling that (currently) most stubborn of stubborn short stories into shape. Unfortunately, today involved illness, and the story didn't get any less stubborn by my putting it aside in favour of sleep, so I am unable to report as planned.

I can tell you that daytime soaps have not changed since the last time I snoozed through them. I'm betting this won't come as a surprise to anyone.

Instead I will share with you that today, I did something astonishing: I decided to not finish a book that I'm not enjoying.1 I don't know why I'm compelled to read a book through to completion regardless of how much I dislike it. Is it stubbornness? Is it a perverse streak? Is it hope that the book may, just may, turn itself around and do something brilliant? Is it guilt, that the author will find out and I'll break their heart?

Whatever the reason, I begin to suspect there are better uses for my time. So here goes to a new me, a me who can put a book down partway through.

  1. Um, this is probably not a great time to admit that I haven't actually removed the bookmark. But I will. I'm pretty sure I will. [↩]
 Posted by at 6:32 pm

nothing like happy to turn a monday around

 asides, the wages of salt  4 Responses »
Apr 122010
 

People, check it out: "The Wages of Salt" received an Honorable Mention in Ellen Datlow's "Best Horror of the Year, Volume 2" !

It's quite a list,1 and my little story that could is in some spectacular company.

Yea verily, tonight I am not a little bit chipper :)

  1. such a list, in fact, that I missed my name entirely on the first pass. It wasn't until Ben Payne posted the Australian-only summary that I found out. [↩]
 Posted by at 8:29 pm  Tagged with:

it is just possible i was, er, not sober…?

 asides, journal  6 Responses »
Nov 122009
 

Courtesy of a recent dental visit, and Melbourne's current baking climate (and my non-possession of an airconditioner or windows that open), I'm afraid my brain has melted. Or at least, something is dribbling out my ears. Could be some other body organ that has liquefied and risen to the top, I suppose.

So, in lieu of content, I present to you text messages I have sent:1

  • i shall regret nothing! we shall fight them on the beaches!
     
  • there is no cheese! moar wine will solve this existential crisis!
     
  • Can only conclude that I have developed super powers. AT LAST!
     
  • Nope, you cannot distract me with your ludicrous theories of visualisation. Clearly I am god. Bwa-ha-ha!
     
  • I find you safe passage through the marshes!
     
  • Oops. Trivialities, the downfall of so many a tyrant in training.
     
  • I found chibi!

(Be very glad I do not have your mobile number. (Except, you know, those of you whose numbers I do have.))

  1. entirely devoid of context, because they're more fun that way [↩]
 Posted by at 4:53 pm

to be fair, the crepes were excellent

 asides, journal  2 Responses »
Jun 212009
 

There is nothing I love more than a typo on a menu (unless perhaps it's a malapropism), and today I have an absolute corker of a typo to share with you, one of those instances where the error results in a phrase so sublime… well, to be honest, I start laughing and lose the capacity to speak in sentences:

because when we offer spite as a beverage, we do not shirk - oh no! you will have some lemon, nay, some <em>salted</em> lemon along with that spite!

because when we offer spite as a beverage, we do not shirk - oh no! you will have some lemon, nay, some salted lemon along with that spite!

phrases heard in my house over christmas

 asides, journal  1 Response »
Dec 282008
 

"Has Apple bought the bloody Greek pantheon now?" (Me)

"I'm only hanging out with you so your girlfriend thinks you're a child person. You owe me." (From an 8yo)

"Meow likes ball!" (No prizes for guessing that one was Spawn. She used to call the cats by their name, but would always get them mixed up. She now refers to the cats individually and collectively as Meow. Much simpler.)

"I did warn you that you might find an Apple frustrating."

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