Jun 252006
 

This morning, as I lay in bed reading, my computer switched itself on. Seriously. Apropos of nothing I can pinpoint (well, I was in bed without my glasses; you can't expect too much here), I heard the fan start up, and the computer booted itself up to the login screen. I stared at it for a while, wondered about power surges tripping a startup, or whether my computer had become sentient last night and, for its very first trick, had learnt how to induce guilt; and then I decided I'd fix it later. After I'd finished this chapter. But after I ignored it for a few minutes, the computer performed the equivalent of a shrug: it put itself back into hibernation. With an audible click that had me wondering about the guilt trip thing again.

I'm now left feeling a little like Neil from The Young Ones: technology hates me, man. Or at least it judges me. But, after a morning reading in bed, I'm good with that. There's very little in the way of ills that being curled up in bed with a book won't cure, I find.

This week has been a strange one. Lots of family, what with the new addition summoning relatives from far and wide. There are photos (my Lord are there photos!), but I don't want to post them without permission, so for now I'll just post a couple of Kaitlyn's hands. They actually rank as my favourites, anyway.

I also had thoughts this morning of confidence and apologising in writing, but they don't fit in this post. Plus they're still very vague and nebulous. So maybe a bit more on that later.

Jun 192006
 

My brother's daughter arrived at 15:something yesterday. I think 15:10 or thereabouts. My brother said it's okay if I call her Snorgle.1

I had the day off from the dayjob today, and was looking forward to gathering up and corralling a slew of words on the page. No such luck, unfortunately. The going was slowslowslow, and after only 400 odd words I stopped because, quite frankly, all I was doing was writing filler. And no one wants to read filler. And writing filler? Possibly even more boring than reading it.

The problem of course is not only do I not know where I'm going with this story, any time I do think up a new snippet of plot, it's always just that: a snippet. A beat. Never a scene, with its own arc and turning point, just a beat. It's all so very disjointed. (I don't mind disorganised. I wrote my first novel out of order and without an outline. Disorganised is okay. Even though most of this novel has so far been written in sequence. But disjointed, where I can't feel a connection between what I'm writing and what I've written and what I'm planning, that's not okay.)

What I really need to do is collect the snippets up as beats, but not start on writing a new scene until I have a new scene. Surprises are okay, sure, but I really need to know the pivotal action, the beat that will be the turning point, the mini-narrative of the scene. Before going in. Otherwise, I'm going to write an awful lot of filler.

So, yeah, I'm plotting now. Or trying to. I have an uneasy relationship with plotting. I need to take it by surprise, ambush attacks, approach it whistling and thinking of other things.

  1. Yes, I did nickname the beagle puppy we didn't buy Snorgle. No, my brother doesn't know that. No, I may not be allowed to call his daughter Snorgle for long, if ever, if he ever discovers the connection. But I want it documented that he said I was allowed to. []

disjointed update

 journal, pre-crash  Comments Off
Jun 182006
 

Still not an aunt. But apparently it's happening today, by hook or by crook, so stay tuned. I'm finding it hard to concentrate, waiting for the Inevitable Announcement, but I don't think it's the waiting so much as the natural urge to procrastinate.

Nearly bought a beagle puppy who ow-oww-owwed for us. I've named her Snorgle but, for now at least, practicality wins the day and I left Snorgle at the pet store. A girl with two cats and a rabbit does not, actually, contrary to the infinite cuteness of puppies, need a beagle named Snorgle.

Dislike my new haircut intensely, although not quite so intensely today as I did yesterday. So perhaps, after the requisite week of adjustment has passed, I will come to actually like it. We can but hope. In the meantime, bobby pins are a girl's best friend.

The finish short stories! kick succeeded, as I suspected it would, in making my novel clamour for attention. Because the brain, it is perverse.

All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only
love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet"

 Posted by at 11:43 am  Tagged with:
Jun 152006
 

Yesterday I spring-cleaned my hard-drive. It occurred to me that having half-started short stories sitting around in an ever-growing (or at least never-shrinking) list was probably not helping with that whole not making headway thing. So I sorted through them, and shelved or scrapped stories that I won't come back to, for one reason or another. (In most cases the reason was that it was never a story to begin with, just a cool idea that never fleshed out; so I've kept the idea but scrapped the meandering excuse for a story.)

So now I'm on a bit of "finish short stories!" kick, starting with the oldest first. This means I am currently working on a short story about a water fairy that I started in 2003. Yeah, slacker, that's me. After the water fairy story, I only have 28 short stories and 7 novels to go. And that first novel, which I might yet rewrite into something more manageable. And the other novels that are crowded into the back of my head and haven't had a first sentence or anything yet. Sure thing.

Also, apropos of nothing in particular, I learnt the difference between venom and poison. I pretty much knew it anyway, but now I can articulate it succinctly, which means now I know. How long this knowledge lasts is another matter entirely. The problem with knowing this? It sparked a short story idea. I am resisting considering it a proper short story; watch me stick my fingers in my ears and chant la la la, you're just an idea, you're just an idea — get in line!

In the biggest not-yet-news of all, today my sister-in-law's waters broke. Pre-dawn this morning. As yet, however, she's so far failed to make me an aunt (again). I have faith in her, though ;)

Jun 142006
 

So, apparently I missed the discussions itself (what? I'm inattentive, 'kay?), but Charlie has proposed August 18 as the day for women writers to bombard F&SF with their submissions. The goal is 100 submissions by women writers. That's 9 weeks plus change. (Although, if we take into account postal delivery rates from overseas, I guess I should say 8 weeks plus change.) I can have something ready by then. Surely.

 Posted by at 12:55 pm
Jun 122006
 

The thing with public holidays is that the whole world is home on a Monday1. This is a problem because I am possessive and easily thrown off-course, and Monday is my Sunday, and I've grown rather used to having a Sunday wherein everyone else is working and I get the world to myself. Not to mention the washing machine.

I cannot write a word I like lately. I cannot even write a word I feel ambivalent about. But that's okay. No, really, it is. I'd tell myself that I'll fix them in a later draft but, seeing as one of my current projects is mucking about in the guts of one of my Clarion stories and I'm convinced that I've broken it beyond repair, it's probably not such helpful advice today. Later, when I've put the broken-beyond-repair story back together and not looked at it for a while and discovered, when I do come back to it, that it's not broken beyond all repair after all, then will be better. In the meantime, I'm employing my superhuman powers of disinterest to ignore all of those weaselly words..

In novel news, my protag who started doing stuff (even if it was only cooking)? Yeah, she stopped. Yay. I'm punishing her by ignoring her. I've also threatened to take away her pet if she doesn't behave.

It is entirely possible that my jagged and scattered mood is the direct result of cannonballing the first three seasons of Scrubs over the past couple of days. Perhaps not my best move. I really liked the first season, but as it went on the lead character got more cocky and I liked that less. On the upside, though, the music selection truly is excellent. And that moment when the cast sang Waiting for my Real Life to Begin? Rawks.

  1. For the non-Aussies, today is the Queen's Birthday public holiday. I understand that the UK celebrate the Queen's Birthday long weekend on a different date. I don't know why, and I don't care. Frankly, I'm all for a republic, but only so long as we don't lose the Queen's Birthday long weekend. And no, I don't mean renaming it Independence Day or President's Birthday, or whatever. We can have another public holiday for those. []

technophilic

 asides, journal, pre-crash  Comments Off
Jun 092006
 

The Antikythera Mechanism has inscriptions:

a joint British-Greek research team has found a hidden ancient Greek inscription on the device, which it thinks could unlock the mystery.

The team believes the Antikythera Mechanism may be the world's oldest computer, used by the Greeks to predict the motion of the planets.

Article includes a picture of the Antikythera Mechanism and an X-Rayed image of same, which is how the scientists apparently discovered the inscriptions. Link via the Archaeoblog.

Also, via Kevin, the okapi is still alive in Congo's Virunga National Park:

a recent survey of the area by conservation group WWF and the Institut Congolais pour la Conservation de la Nature (ICCN) found 17 okapi tracks and other evidence of its presence

Jun 072006
 

My brain won't let me concentrate on any one task. It has this scattery idea that, all of a sudden, I am an Artiste Extraordinaire.

Comics, ever considered comics? it whispers to me. That not-drawing thing you got going, we can fix that. Photography, you know, photography is cool. Ever considered micro-fiction? Or how about acrylics and oils? You know, carpentry would be pretty ace. My brain has not, so far, suggested I take up either songwriting or singing — because even my brain on whatever it's on that has it skipping and hopping all over the braincase recognises utter futility as a waste of time. (Mind you, it's only utter and extreme futility that tips the scales. The closest I've come to carpentry is that spice rack I made somewhere in the depths of high school, and some random sanding moments since. Painting, and drawing? Yeah. Not so much with the talents there. And photography? I don't even own a working camera at the moment.)

I have been self-medicating with the first season of Scrubs, since it was only $16 when I went in to buy a copy of Garden State. Consequently, I am now walking around the house singing I can't do this all on my own, no I know, I'm no superman. My cat, in the wise way of cats, ignores me.

 Posted by at 2:00 pm
Jun 042006
 

First, a kjitten update — Max and Hakuna are six months old now. Can you tell they're brothers? "Little" Max is now 4kg, and I think it's the densest 4kg I've ever owned.

Today's word-rep would be about the sparring crows. Did you know men in black tunics practicing their swordplay (or whatever weapon I decide to give them later) look like sparring crows? Let me tell you about the crows sparring in the courtyard, just one more time. I'd blame this word-rep-fest on writing by hand late at night, but I have a feeling those particular words were from this morning's effort. So I can't. Oops.

On the upside, I did manage to find my protag's voice today. She's had a hard first chapter, what with everyone she knows being massacred, so for the scenes following all that action, all I could get out of her was gibbering shock. (And word/phrase repetition. Natch.) But today she started doing stuff, thankfully, and she started getting snarky in her dialogue. Colour me immensely relieved.