your grammatical tics, they drive me crazy

Posted on Posted in it's all about the whimsy, journal, language - it's a beautiful thing

Every morning, on the way to work, I pass the "Grate Cafe".1

Their sign promises Grate Food, Grate Coffee, Grate Catering, and I CAN'T STAND THEM FOR THAT SIGN. I don't care whether it's deliberate2 or a genuine mistake.

Grate coffee? Unless it's made from grated coffee beans, I don't think so. For that matter, I'm pretty sure grating isn't the right way to treat coffee beans, so even if it is made from grated coffee beans…I don't think so. And if we're following that theme, then grate food and grate catering…don't appeal so much either. I just keep imagining vast, inedible, stomach-clogging mounds of carrot shavings…

On the topic of things that routinely bemuse me, every two months Telstra send me a bill, oh-so-helpfully detailing the zero activity on my account (which is not surprising, given the account has been closed for some time now) and pointing out that I'm $7.58 in credit but not to worry, we'll put that against any future activity. Makes a nice change from the bill telling me I'm $0.98 in credit against the mobile phone account I closed well over two years ago now.

And a nice change from the bills that do need to be paid, for that matter. Which, if you'll excuse me, is what's next on the to-do list. The glamour!

  1. Just next door to the Exotic Pots, Exotic Staff garden store (if that's what it is). Clearly, it's a semantically interesting pocket of the suburb. []
  2. A recent news article postulated that a lot of grammatical errors in signs were in fact a genius marketing ploy, in that it catches people's attention and drives them into the store. Presumably to complain about the grammatical error initially, but I suppose getting people through the door is the first hurdle. Selling them something after that is probably easier. I would link to the article, but my google-fu is not strong this morning. []

One thought on “your grammatical tics, they drive me crazy

  1. Pretty sure you mean "You're grammatical ticks" in the title there.

    You've also found what looks like a bug in WordPress: Using quote marks in a footnote makes it generate a link where the link description still contains the quote marks (which makes the HTML invalid). Apart from just being generally invalid, it's confusing you LJ replication plugin: http://scribblefly.livejournal.com/179888.html

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