why, yes, it is all about me. isn't it?

Posted on Posted in it's all about the whimsy, journal, whistling in the dark

I'm feeling somewhat whimsical and philosophical this morning, so, a discussion question: love at first sight — does it exist?

Me, like all good fence-sitters, I can't quite decide — but if pressed I would have to say nope, it's wishful thinking and retrospective and hindsight.

I've certainly seen and experienced "like at first sight" (which is no small thing, I think), and there are people I've met who became family in that very first instant, even if I didn't always know it at the time. (I can be inattentive at the best of times. It's a feature, I tell you, not a flaw.)

Discuss, muse, theorise… basically have at it. Challenge me. Give me stuffs to ponder.

Or, alternatively, my cousin is on the look-out for stories of when you were away from home (100-200 words, moral or lesson optional). So if you find the concept of love at first sight far too boring, tell me one of your travel stories. Bonus points for those who can combine the two! (And by bonus points I mean, er, you win nothing particular.)

6 thoughts on “why, yes, it is all about me. isn't it?

  1. I met my best friend in the world several years ago, and it was like at first sight–the love part came later in the day. We both worked at the same place, and we were busily involved in some mind-numbing task. He popped his head around the corner at one point and said, "Don Knotts as the next Batman–whaddaya think?"

    I knew at that point I had found true love.

  2. I don't know, either! When I first saw Gordon, I thought he looked scary! I didn't want to be anywhere near him. Then I started talking to him, and ten years later we're still together. I did go all googly eyed immediately over my first boyfriend, and we were pretty teenagery hot and heavy, but that relationship was kind of a disaster. πŸ˜› So hahaha, I just don't know!

  3. Lisa – what a great story, thankyou! You just gave me the best warm fuzzy feeling I've had for days πŸ™‚

    Leigh – it's tricky, isn't it? I think partly it's because everyone's definition of "love" is so very personal – if it's fantastic and short-lived and ends in disaster, does that still count as love, or not? How you/I answer that is going to impact strongly on how you/I answer the love at first sight question. Maybe that's why I keep tripping up on it. (hee, as I said, feeling very philosophical this morning!)

  4. I am cynical on this subject I guess… I tend to see it as wilful interpretation. I think you can be attracted to somebody the first time you see them, and that if you get lucky that might develop into love. But I don't think that means you loved them immediately. At least, not according to my value of "love", which entails a deeper level of communication/understanding of the other person than just butterflies in the stomach.

    I have had people I've made really quick connections with… I think there's something we recognise in some people… some sense of familiarity or something… some shared styles of communicating, or of thinking… that make it easier for us to bond with that person… which is a cool thing… although friendships with people you don't click with immediately can be just as valuable for being hard-won πŸ™‚

  5. I used my laundry time to think on this.

    Yah, I think it is possible, but only if your definition of love allows it. There are people who fall in love easily, and fall out just as easily. It isn't a sort of 'love' I really understand, but if it is what they see as love, then it isn't my place to tell them what to think/feel.

    I'm a nasty suspicious and doubting sort of person though, so when I see someone for the first time, I'm generally waiting to have my suspicions confirmed that they suck. Which doesn't leave much room for lust, let alone love, at first sight. For me, love is tied in with trust, and trust only comes with time.

    The internet has made that water murky though. It's possible to know someone before you see them, so…what then?

  6. It is good to know I'm not the only one who is both cynical and yet open on this issue – thank you both!

    Tess – I know exactly what you mean re the suspicious at meeting thing. I'm trying not to do that quite so much, although it is very tricky to manage, being the untrusting soul that I am!

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